Entries Tagged '12 Steps' ↓

I have discovered that if I really work the 12 Steps and frame my life within their guidance, I am much more serene, happy and successful at living than if I were to disregard them or take them granted.  It is all about my spiritual program and acting, not thinking, soberly.

My mother is very excited about my upcoming trip to Greece.  She keeps on reminding me that “your grandmother would be so proud of you” and that she is proud of me as well.  I have been able to help her these past years and still do today.  She is in much better shape than she was last year,mostly due to the introduction of the O2.  She will do fine during my absence.

My cat, on the other hand, is not so well.  She is losing her back teeth.  She has gingivitis.  This has been addressed by the vet but their response is that although we can care for our pet’s teeth, some breeds of cat have bad teeth to begin with. Poor Sweetie Pie.  Other than that she is the sweetheart with a temper that she has always been.

Off to Greece in 5 days!

Johnnyboy

Last year after the Greek AA Convention I went to the small island of Paros with an AA friend to visit her former home and alma mater, the Aegean Center for the Fine Arts.  I was impressed with the small competitive school and set my next goal on applying, being accepted and attending the school to finish my BA.  I went through the process, which I think I have written about already.  I was informed last week that I have been accepted!  This was a shock, because I didn’t think I would be notified until December.  I am excited, nervous and very much looking forward to being there.  My semester begins March 8, 2010 and ends on June 7th.  I will be taking three classes (12 credits) which will finish my BA from SUNY Empire State College.  What a great way to cap off my 5-year academic odyssey.  All of this is a direct result of my finding sobriety and grabbing hold with all the desperation of a drowning man.

My mother’s health is very good these days and we are both looking forward to seeing my sister and her husband over the Thanksgiving week.  They are coming to visit and will be here for a few days.  It will be a quiet few days and, I hope, restful for our guests.

I have been participating in a commitment with a nearby Men’s AA Group.  Twice a month we bring a meeting into the very same jail I spent 19 months in between winter 2003 and fall 2004.  I was nervous at first, but truly feel that I am able to leave, any of the ghosts behind me every time I lave the facility.  Next week we go back in on the night before Thanksgiving.  Having been there, perhaps I can deliver the message that these guys never have to spend another family holiday in jail again, if they choose.  What a wonderful sense of forgiveness I have found in this action, this 12 Step work and this program of recovery.  I have been granted a new life in sobriety, one that I could not have imagined had I stayed drinking and playing at being God.

Johnnyboy

There was a time when I was very angry.  I have written about it here and I have worked the 12 Steps to recover from not only my drinking but from those character defects.  I also work with others so I know their anger as well.  I have a good friend who is angry.  She has a couple of sober years, but she is in her early sixties and has a whole lifetime of living with her character defects and all the damage.  She has a sponsor and is at the stage where she is writing her 4th Step.  It is to be expected that her anger will come up to the surface,  Tonight she told me that there are more things about me that she likes compared to the things she dislikes.  Frankly, I am beginning to dislike her.  It is too bad, because I am sure there are wonderful things about her.  What I really dislike is the way she instantly trots out her experience as a grown woman to avoid looking at her past.  I am probably misreading the signs, but this is how I feel.

I think she should start hanging around with more women and not me.  There are many other things I could say, but that would be judgmental.  I am sure that I have gone through the same growing pains as she has.

Johnnyboy