Entries Tagged 'College' ↓

My paper on Yugoslavia is done.  I have handed in the final ‘first draft’ but there isn’t much to correct, in my opinion.  The bibliography will be adjusted and tacked on, but what should I call it the paper?

I have been doing a lot of old-time AA service these days: driving guys around to meetings and so forth.  there has been one kid that I have been driving to meetings.  He is, in my opinion, a real mess.  He is on 15 different medications for bi-polar, addiction, etc…and I am not sure if I would call him sober of not since one of them is a med that keeps the urge to use heroin at bay.  That’s chemically induced clean-time.  I’m glad he’s not my sponsee.  If he ever asked, I would have to say ‘No.’

Mom is doing well and her mood and memory seem to be leveling out in a good and happy space.

I have asked a woman from a nearby AA group out on a date…yet again.  This will be the third (?) attempt at dating and it is pretty low-key.  She lives in the Big City most of the week and I have asked her to be my date at a photography opening in early November.  Nothing serious, just the show, then maybe a quick bite and then I have to head back home on the train.  I am not even considering sex…well, I suppose I am, but that’s normal.  I am not expecting it, that’s for sure.

I have registered for the 2010 International AA Convention being held in San Antonio, Texas.  It will be a big deal, with about 80,000 people in attendance.  AA holds it every 5 years.  How fun!  I am thinking of driving the 4000+ mile round-trip journey, but that is far away from now.

Johnnyboy

My paper on Yugoslavia is finished.  All I have to do is finalize the bibliography, correct some of the last few pages, and submit it for official inspection.  Done.  All forty pages.  Granted, I could have written the thing in two weeks, but it took me all summer.  Now I can concentrate on the b/w work in the darkroom and be through that as well.  12 credits to go after this month!  A light at the end of the tunnel…

On an AA note, I realized last night what Step Six means.  It means that my character defects limit me from being all that I could be.  It seems obvious, but it has taken me 6 years to understand that concept.  I think my friend Lolly is right…A Step a year…

I ran into an old friend at the Men’s Group last week.  He was always a good man, supportive of me and now he has 6 months of sobriety.  We talked of old times and he told me that another old colleague had OD’d last year sometime–found dead in his dirty, dark apartment.  Too much Crack. His heart exploded.  No one was surprised.  I certainly wasn’t.  RIP George Benner–It could have been me.

Johnnyboy

Today, September 3rd, 2004, the sheriff of a nearby county told me that I had to leave his facility and go away.  I was released from jail and moved home.  I have not had the need to return.  So many amazing things have occurred since that day that it is mind-boggling to think of it.

Thank you.

Johnnyboy

As former GSR of my AA homegroup I am still on the mailing list.  This means that I have received the applications for the 2010 International Convention being held in San Antonio, Texas next July.  I am going, and have only to mail my registration and book my room.  I’ll do that today.

I brought the applications to the meeting last night and made the announcement, held up the flyers, etc…Then I saw that the registration applications went into the chairperson’s notebook, which means they will never be seen again.  This makes me sick, and opens my eyes again to the apathy that surrounds me in this program.  This group is full of people with long-term sobriety who do nothing outside of coming to one meeting a week (maybe two) and leaving it at that.  How sad.  They have lost the gift of desperation and in doing so dampen the exciting fire of sobriety that I felt when I came into the rooms, and still feel at certain meetings.  They no little or nothing of the 12 Traditions (which are not suggestions, like the Steps), and to top it off, I found out last week at a business meeting that the current treasurer (15 years sober) had no idea what a prudent reserve was.  Once again, puking time is upon me.

In any case, their sobriety is not my own, and they can do what they want, but they give the impression that it is OK to just go to meetings and so forth.  They take it all for granted.  Blah, blah, blah…listen to me go.

Good news is all around me…Mom is doing much better (reading, with it, etc…) and the world still spins on its wobbly axis despite my disappointment with a bunch of whinging old ladies.  I am going to finish my thesis and photo class by the end of next week and move along in life.  This, I declare, is my goal today.

Johnnyboy

My mother has come back to ground after 5 weeks of wandering in her mind.  It can be frightening for her, and dismaying as she is sometimes aware of what is going on. The past week, however, has seen a smoothing out of the rough edges.  Most of the time she knows where she is and, thankfully, she has not forgotten who I am or her other family members.  Her condition is called ‘sundowning’ and it causes her to become disoriented in the early morning after waking and beginning around 4:30PM until about 7:30PM.  I think much of it actually has to do with light and stimulation to her eyes.  Her attitude towards this can be upsetting for her, but she seems to be taking it in stride.  In short, she knows that she is safe and loved and at home.  What a relief.

In my academic life I am up against another bureaucratic wall.  I am currently finishing my history thesis and working in a darkroom for an independent study–this you all know.  After this summer is through, I will have only 20 credits left to fulfill, all of which are electives.  I have submitted the changes to my degree plan.  One of the changes is a possible 12-credit semester in Greece next spring at The Aegean Center for the Arts on the island of Paros.  I have visited the school already and met the director, John Pack.  I would be taking Digital Photography, Figure Drawing, and The History of Photography.  That would leave only 8 credits left before graduating.  The ACotA has a credit exchange program with a huge list of colleges and universities here in the US and abroad, including several from  the same state institution I attend.  It is also accredited with the Association of American Colleges and Universities.  This seems like a no-brain-er and  it would be except for a woman named Milly Dean (not her real name). She is on the academic assessment board at my school and probably one of the reasons I had such hard time last year with my Prior Learning Assessment for culinary arts.  She says that since the Arts Center is not “regionally accredited”,  Empire State College cannot transfer the credits.  She has also denied any of the changes I have made on my degree plan.  I have finished my major; the only credits left are electives, which I am taking in the arts and photography in preparation for trying to get an MA or an MFA.

My mentor is working on this for me and I will go above Ms. Dean’s head if I need to. The worst case scenario is that I transfer all my credits to SUNY Purchase and finish my BA there.  I have been told that there are two reasons Milly Dean has it in for me (and others as well).  The first is that a creative strategy for learning does not fit into her neat little unimaginative box.  The second is that ESC receives no money if I go to Greece.  It comes down to the fact that Milly Dean and others like her have no imagination and, maybe, but only maybe, are even jealous of those who do.

It is sad to see that the world of education has been co-opted by the bean-counting idiots who sit on their fat asses and eat chocolate all day.  This is true.  I’ve seen it. They have fat asses and they eat chocolate all day.  The counting of beans is an idiomatic statement.

Mom is adjusting to the O2 scene very well.  She instinctively knows how to adjust it on her face when she needs to blow her nose and hasn’t complained about having to wear the cannula.  The new twist is her mental state.  She doesn’t think she is at home, but rather has been brought someplace else.  We have seen this before, but not at this level of insistence or depth.  It is common with dementia and Alzheimer’s patients to experience this, and it ill only progress deeper.  Last night she woke up several times and wanted to “go home”.  Soon we she will want to make telephone calls to her brother who has been dead since 1984.  Such is life.  As she progresses in her dementia new protocols are put into place to accommodate her needs.

The power went out last week during a big storm and luckily we had backup O2 for her.  This being said, it is time to have a generator installed.  I have done some investigating and a local fellow is coming over this afternoon to fit us with the correct unit.  The price is reasonable for us and the sense of security is priceless.  It is one thing to have the power go out in July, when the nights are merely unseasonably cool.  I don’t want this happening in the fall or winter and be stuck without a furnace, running water, air compressors or telephones  for any period of time.

I’m handling this pretty well.  It is heartbreaking-true.  There is nothing I can do except make sure she is safe and cared for.  The decline now will be swift, I hope, thus lessening the periods of panic and confusion running like frayed threads through her synapses. 

A few months ago a good friend in the program (who took care of both his parents and his wife as they died) told me that when she finally does die I won’t know what to do with myself.  He’s right.  I can feel it already.

I am off to the 41st New York State Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous this weekend.  I will be taking the train, thus saving me and my car a 14-hour round trip drive.  I can plug in my laptop and get some work done.

Btw…”cannula” is Latin.  It means “reed” or “tube”.  It is also where we get the word “cannoli”.

So I hit the road April 27th, back to the Balkans for AA conventions, fellowship in Croatia, Serbia, Greece, Bosnia-Herzegovina and endless diesel-like coffees.  I am also conducting the interviews I have spoken about already.  But first, a treatise on camera/shoulder bags for the traveling set–No matter how hard you try, two things are guaranteed when you search for the perfect bag:

1. It will always be either too small or too large.

2. You will end up with a closet full of them.

Since I have some new gear, I have ordered two bags, each from the same company, Domke.  I guess this company is the professional’s choice, so it will be my choice too.  They are non-descriptive and do not look like camera bags.  The first is the Domke F-2 .  It is big enough, but I do not know if it has the pocket arrangement for stuff other than cameras.  The second is the J-1 . This is the bag-of-bags.  I think it’s the one I’ll keep, because like it or not, one is going back.  This means less room taken up in my closet.  It also means that the photograph posted here will not have any unwanted additions.  Maybe my quest is over!  in the Pile o’Bags are two Timbuk2 messenger bags (one which I use a lot, the blue and grey one), one Swiss Army laptop satchel, one Osprey messenger style, a Crumpler camera satchel and a Tamrac camera bag (black) that is alright, but it screams  “Cameras inside, please steal me!”  I think this week I will give away the large Timbuk2, the Osprey, and the Swiss Army laptop case. Anyone want them?  They are great and well made, but they are extraneous luggage.

When I choose the winner next week, I’ll pack it up and post some pictures…

Oh yeah…School is done for the semester.  I am hoping for two more ‘A’s…

Johnnyboy

A pile of bags I do not use that often

I have all but finished this current semester.  I have a project due for a class in dramatics which will round out the whole thing nicely.  I am directing the first scene from the Sam Shepard play ‘True West’.   I have my work assigned for the summer session during which I will write my senior capstone thesis on unification in the former Yugoslavia and be done  with that.  So far so good.

I am still waiting on the results of my CBE work for my previous career and as they have made me jump through many flaming hoops of fiery shit, I have a feeling I will get nothing for my labors.  For Christ’s sake…16 credits?  It’s not like I’m asking for a degree or anything…

I leave for the Balkans on April 27th..23 days from now I’ll be sitting in an airport waiting to fly to Vienna.  I’ll attend the AA convention in Zagreb, head to Belgrade to hang with friends for a spell, and then off to the AA convention in Greece.  This will be my fifth Greek convention and my third in Croatia.  I am hoping for nice weather.  During this time I will also be conducting interviews with Balkan locals in Serbia, Croatia and Bosnia about there lives during the Tito years.  There is nothing like field work to pump up the old thesis!

Mom is doing well and we are trying to getb her outside once in a while for some excersize now that the snow has gone away.  The current raininess doesn’t help, but there are sunny spots in our lives here in Somewheresville.

I’ll try to be more bloggish in the future, but to be honest I have another blog that is not so anonymous that I have focusing on these days. I’d show it to you but…

Johnnyboy

I spent last weekend in Portland, Maine for the NERAASA Convention.  For those who do not know, it is the Northeast Regional AA Service Assembly.  This is a working weekend about service.  By service I do not mean coffee makers or chairing meetings.  The service I am talking about is the type that gets literature to the outside world so parole officers, nurses, doctors, judges, clergy, and treatment centers know what AA is and, more important, what it is not.  It is a convention of GSRs, DCMs, Area Delegates, Trustees, and so forth.  These are the 15% who do all the work.  It is because of us that AA groups (as opposed to ‘meetings’) have a say in the affairs of AA worldwide.  What’s the difference between a meeting and group?  A group has a ‘group number’, a vote in the governing structure, and a firm connection to the program.  A meeting does not.  It is easy to become a group.  Go to the next District meeting and sign up.  Then you hold a business meeting, elect officers for the group, and proceed in the bigger world of service to the alcoholic who still suffers.

It was a great weekend and I learned a lot about the program of AA and myself.

School is moving along and I have a lot of work to do this week.  I still have to finish that damn Digital Art and Design course from last semester before April 10th…

Mom is doing brilliantly.  It seems as if the Synthroid is working very well.   Her under-active thyroid was dragging her down.  Now she has more energy during the day and all that.  I can breathe a little easier.

That’s about it for now…

Johnnyboy

Life goes on here in Somewheresville. Nothing gained, nothing lost. I have been working diligently on my Senior Thesis–writing, re-writing, submitting, re-writing again…etc…This could go on forever, except that eventually my faculty mentor will tell me it’s done.

I am also reading ‘Death of a Salesman’ by Arthur Miller for my “From Page to Stage’ course.  This is an interesting class, with a diverse group of adult students.  Some of us have had theater experience and know things about art, etc…the rest are not as knowledgeable but bring a certain naive charm to the room.  One student (the youngest at 22) is very morose and has a ‘been there/done that’ attitude, which is fun to look at, seeing as I used to act that way, and still can on occasion.  In any case, lots of reading to do for me.

I have added two more photography links on the blogroll.  One is for my dear friend Stephanie, who is a wonderful photographer and the other is another dear friend, Barbara, who is also pretty fabulous.

I am still working on my resentment towards my sister.  Although my amends have been made, our relationship, or lack thereof, still irks me.  There is a small child-like part of me that wants her praise and love, and I am not going to get it no matter what, at least not today.  I go for months without a thought about it and then, like a frost heave on a winter road, a small bump appears and grows.  As it subsides I repair the internal psychic damage the best I can, but as soon as the weather shifts, there it is again.  It is becoming a drag more than anything.  A real nuisance.  I have an appointment this evening with my sponsor before my weekly Step meeting  and we will hash this out some more.  I really don’t like feeling this way about someone I should love.

My friend and I will be going over to a nearby place tomorrow morning to take pictures of pro/am ski jumping, as in the long-distance Nordic style, not freestyle.  He is hoping to get a lot of great images so he can post them on his new website.  He told me the other day that taking pictures of sports is similar to taking pictures in combat, except it is much safer and, for the most part, people are having fun.

Johnnyboy