Entries Tagged 'Uncategorized' ↓

My paper on Yugoslavia is done.  I have handed in the final ‘first draft’ but there isn’t much to correct, in my opinion.  The bibliography will be adjusted and tacked on, but what should I call it the paper?

I have been doing a lot of old-time AA service these days: driving guys around to meetings and so forth.  there has been one kid that I have been driving to meetings.  He is, in my opinion, a real mess.  He is on 15 different medications for bi-polar, addiction, etc…and I am not sure if I would call him sober of not since one of them is a med that keeps the urge to use heroin at bay.  That’s chemically induced clean-time.  I’m glad he’s not my sponsee.  If he ever asked, I would have to say ‘No.’

Mom is doing well and her mood and memory seem to be leveling out in a good and happy space.

I have asked a woman from a nearby AA group out on a date…yet again.  This will be the third (?) attempt at dating and it is pretty low-key.  She lives in the Big City most of the week and I have asked her to be my date at a photography opening in early November.  Nothing serious, just the show, then maybe a quick bite and then I have to head back home on the train.  I am not even considering sex…well, I suppose I am, but that’s normal.  I am not expecting it, that’s for sure.

I have registered for the 2010 International AA Convention being held in San Antonio, Texas.  It will be a big deal, with about 80,000 people in attendance.  AA holds it every 5 years.  How fun!  I am thinking of driving the 4000+ mile round-trip journey, but that is far away from now.

Johnnyboy

In the past two days I have sent out perhaps a half-a-dozen emails to various people, on various subjects, all of which require a reply in a timely fashion.  To me, they are all relevant.  Apparently not to the recipients, none of whom have replied back.

What is wrong with people?  I think that some are genuinely intimidated by the internet, email, and so forth.  I have had one family member tell me that she never checks her email, except on Saturday.  That is more passive-aggressive than anything else, but the others have no excuse.  they are business oriented and need to be written and sent.  Damn it…Get it together!  I don’t all day to sit around and wait…

Yes, yes…I know.  There are other people in the world besides myself, and they have lives of their own, etc, etc…My reaction is a symptom of the technological disease that has infiltrated all of ou lives.  I am happy to not be on Facebook, MySpace, or anything else.  I am happy to go for days without email while traveling.  If folks really need me,they can call…

Johnnyboy

My mother and sister left yesterday morning for a short trip to West Virginia, to visit with relatives and, in many ways, to say some final goodbyes to them as well.  This is probably the last trip like this she will be able to make and still retain a great deal of the experience.  In her words, “Yes, I am excited to go, but it will be also very sad, because so many of us are dead.”  From the mouth of a pragmatic woman comes the truth.  So far news of the trip is very good to excellent.  They are both having a fun time driving and talking…My sister is doing all the driving, btw.  They have done this in two legs–the first to Harrisburg, PA and the second today to mom’s hometown.  I am staying home and allowing the girls to have a week by themselves.

My B/W darkroom course is great.  I have only spent a few hours so far learning the chemistry (dirt simple!) and while the house is all mine I will use this time at night to develop all the rolls of film I shot over in Europe.  That way I can just bring them over to the darkroom across the river and print some stuff this week.  I am also using a friend’s Mamiya medium format, so I’ll be looking at those negs as well.  I found a great store across the river that still sells all the chemistry, so I don’t have to order it all from the Big City.  Plus, on-line stores will not ship Stop Solution, so I have to buy that first hand.  I have all the gear I need to do it, so I’ll be up late nights with test-tube…Oh, oh, oh, oh…

Speaking of the Beatles…In high school there was a personality test one could take to determine one’s spiritual and artistic development.  The question was, “Which Beatle do you identify with?”  The answer would give you a rough estimate.  I was told that the answer “John Lennon” was the best because he was the real artist who didn’t  become commercial or compromise his artistic talent–the anti-thesis of Paul  McCartney who just sang goofy love songs and made a lot of money.  Ringo and George were below both of them–simple, fun-loving Ringo on the bottom rung, with the shy and introspective George above.  Now, however, I am not so sure.  John Lennon was a deeply troubled, angry, resentful and complex person who never really, I feel, achieved substantial inner peace and happiness.  Paul, on the other hand, loved his wife, his children, didn’t take himself or his music too seriously, and has spent millions of dollars trying to make the world a better place–and he’s still happy and having fun.  John clutched at life and Paul just seemed to have let go…

Who would rather be or want to identify with?

Johnnyboy

I have had an amazing summer.  Alongside fantastic adventures have been harrowing escapades and daring-dos only the sober life can bring.  I rescues=d an AA friend from the clutches of a mean and nasty supposedly sober Irishman and she is doing better.  I made it through places I normally would not go and returned with a smile on my face and a hundred fires to put out, or so it seemed.  When I returned home two weeks ago, our fridge died.  It was 35 years old and deserves a full burial, but we opted for the quick pick-up and replacement.  Our new fridge reminds me suddenly of this new thing I have…My iMac. 

Compared to the Dell with Windows XP, this is something else.  This is elegant and lovely.  The Dell is as elegant as a brick.  It served me well, but is now so cruddy with internalized crap that it was time for a change.  Plus, the mac is better for my photography.

Now I get to load software….I cannot figure out how to put all the old bookmarks on here, though…Maybe highlight…click and drag.

Johnnyboy

Facebook has disabled my account.  They will not give me a reason for doing so and claim their “decision is final.”  So I googled the situation and found thousands of comments about this problem.  I am not alone.

Fuck ‘em.  Maybe it’s time to actually start networking and socializing with real people anyway.  If the net ever goes down most people will be cripples with the inability to actually interact face-to-face without an electronic medium.

On better notes…I am balls-to-the-wall with work this summer.  Two classes (senior thesis and b/w darkroom), three workshops, and two short essays–all due before September 1st.  Let’s also add the NY State AA Convention at the end of July all the way on the other side of the state and my dance card is filled.

Mom is doing well and will be traveling next week to visit her family in a southern state.  She is going with my sisters so it will be a ‘girls road trip’.  I am staying here, by myself, which I am looking forward to.  Much work to do, as I have already said.

That’s it.

Johnnyboy

I have emailed my teacher the final two projects for the course I took last semester.  Very late, and just barely acceptable, but there it is.  DigArtDes is done.  I can now put last semester behind me for good.

Mom celebrated her 85th birthday yesterday in real style with a small gathering of some close friends, both old and new.  Chicken salad sandwiches, tortellini prima vera salad, and chocolate pound cake: all made by me except for the cake. It was fun to have people here to help her celebrate and she was flabbergasted at the outpouring of emotion, cards, flowers and gifts.  One guest, however, has had a checkered past with my mother that I had not thought about.  It concerns me when I was a little boy.  Her son was very mean to me and made sure that other children were mean to me too.  For this I had a miserable time in grade school, and my mother has never forgotten it.  I have written about this before, sometime in 2005 I think.  The kid turned into a real drunk and I ended up helping him get to meetings when he decided to get sober (2005).  I remember gritting my teeth as I drove him on those cold dark nights to and from his home .  What a shit.  He’s still a shit, but at least he’s not drinking.  Some day maybe he’ll thank me for doing it.  I’m not holding my breath.  Still, it kept me sober and I went through the phases of acceptance with him (anger, pity, acceptance, letting go) concerning our past. I think he is pretty clueless about it. Yep, Josh…You’re still a shit.

It is sunny and warm.  The days have grown longer and the birds sing.  My cat enjoys staying outside more often.  It must be spring!

Johnnyboy

I’ll just make a list…

1.  My CBE essay is in, at a total of 8 1/2 pages.  Whatever they give me is whatever I get.  I don’t forsee a single credit. This means more arts classes and another year of study.

2. I have submitted 20 images for a show in a nearby city . I hope for some good responses from this.  At the least it will introduce my work to a new and vibrant art community.

3. Mom is doing great!  Her doctor put her on Ritalin and it has improved her state of mind and energy level.  This is not to say she has returned to her old self, but she is sharper these days.

4. I am going to finish the Digital Design course this week.

5. I received a ‘A’ for the Caribbean Cold War course.

6. My two course this semester are going very well.  I am annotating bibliographies this week and reading ‘Doubt’.  I am also writing a theater review for the class based on a play I saw last week in another nearby city.

I am building great new relationships, both professional and friendship.

I am very excited about traveling this spring.  Back to the Balkans!

Yeeha!

Johnnyboy

It’s good to finally be on-board with WordPress.  I am liking the freedom and easily molded interfaces and options.  I have also been on the phone for a fair amount of time with a good friend, Tarky7, who is walking me through many of the features, which, for the most part, are unbreakable.  This is all good news for me.

I finally finished my last paper for the ‘U.S. Cold War Foreign Policy in the Caribbean’ class.  A month late and well over the page requirement, but then again, most of my work usually is.  I still have a few short assignments for the other class I received an extension for, and that will be finished eventually. Grades? Who knows…The two courses I am taking this semester are fun already.  The first is my Senior Thesis, which will deal with the two power vacuums that occurred in the Balkans after 1918 and then following the death of Marshal Tito in 1980.  I have a pretty good bibliography built up already and have received good news from my friends in Serbia who are willing to be interviewed for use as primary sources.  The other class is called ‘From Page to Stage’ and concerns itself with dramaturgy, direction, and set design.  I will be seeing and reading a lot of plays this semester.  All fun.

My tickets for the Balkan trip have been accentuated by my hotel reservation in Vienna…”Ah, yes, Vienna”, as Jean Reno said in ‘Ronin’…

Today at breakfast Mom asked what had happened to the man who used to be our neighbor.  He moved away over ten years ago.  The woman who bought his home was very nice, but she moved last fall.  They were both good friends.  Mom used to know this, but it seems today as if this  has slipped away into the world of memory loss and dementia.  Perhaps she’ll remember tomorrow.  Sadness can be all around me and effect me terribly, but I am keeping my head above water and working towards something better for myself.  I wish sometimes that she could comprehend the direction I am going and appreciate it as much as I.  I suppose she appreciates that I appreciate it.

I am off to a local meeting tonight.  There are at least 5 celebrants, ranging from 4 years of sobriety to 24.  Pretty amazing.

Johnnyboy

So I have used EBay for a few years now and have never had a problem. I have also used Paypal for the same amount of time and, also, no problems. A few weeks ago that changed.

Just for fun I tried to apply for a PayPal Credit Card. After a short credit check, I was denied–big surprise there. In my mind and experience, that was the end of the matter, and I went on my merry way. Then I began to receive statements from PayPal stating that I owed them a monthly payment for charges to my PayPal Buyer Credit account. Thinking that this was a phishing scam, I disregarded the notice. The next month I received the same statement, but with a higher minimum payment. So I began to call PayPal. What they wanted to pay the account were the routing and checking account numbers of my own bank. I spoke to my bank. They advised me to not give them the numbers.

In the end, after formally disputing the charges*, I made the payment using my checking account. I now have a zero balance. I wanted to close my account, but PayPal would not let me. The letter I received from them regarding my dispute was a form letter sent to buyers/sellers and had nothing to do with me. This morning I called PayPal and was able to close the account.

PayPal is not a financially secure way to build credit. Although they are affiliated with a bank, they do not seem to be governed by the FDIC, as the bank is actually in Luxembourg. Now, my facts may be incorrect, but on-line research has shown me that I am not the only one to have gone through this and there have been far worse scenarios. Some people have had their entire bank accounts frozen by PayPal and it has taken months to thaw them out. It all seems pretty shady to me. Plus, the unofficial rumor is that EBay trying to discourage any seller who does not accept PayPal, which seems discriminatory to me. Perhaps it is not.

So…I am no longer using PayPal. No worries for me. Good riddance.

On more positive notes…I am currently beginning a move from this blog to a WordPress site. I hope to have my actual whole website up soon, before I head off to Europe, at least. It will be a basic page with links to my gallery page as well as others, including the blog. When the times comes, I’ll set up a re-direct for everyone.

Johnnyboy

*I withdrew the dispute before paying the balance. The letter arrived a few days later, and, like I said, did not address the subject of my dispute.

I don’t know what was happening in the past few weeks. A friend told me that Mercury has been in retrograde, and that we must all watch our speaking, thinking, and actions. Sounds like we should all stay in bed. The good news is that, I think, it is no longer retro, so things should be getting better. Here’s how my life has been…

I wasn’t able to get any work done, although I have been granted extensions on my two courses from last semester. That has changed in the past few days, as I am almost finished with most of what I started two months ago, and only since Wednesday. Even I am impressed.

My Credit By Evaluation (CBE) for college has been turned over to yet another evaluator. Apparently the first woman didn’t supply the proper work for the needs of the college. So I have to go through this process again. I am left feeling discriminated against. For instance, if I had been in the armed forces for two years, I would have been granted automatic college credit for doing so. This does not apply to an Associates Degree in Culinary Arts, 120 credits from the culinary school I attended, or the 18 years I spent working in the field. Logic says that if I had learned how to kill someone at 1000 yards with one shot I would have no problem getting the 16 credits I am asking for. Just remember, I only feel as if I am being discriminated against. No one can sue me for ‘feeling’.

Mom’s mental state has shifted slightly, and she is becoming a little more disoriented and confused than before. Thank the Big Wheel that we hire the caregivers when we did. It makes this transition smooth and easy. Overall though, her health is solid, her mood is up, and she is safe, warm, and loved from all angles.

I have my tickets for my spring trip to the Balkans. On the schedule are the two AA conventions (Croatia and Greece) and a side trip to Serbia. Serbia celebrated two years of AA this past November, which makes me grateful to be sober and witness this kind of ‘seed planting’ of sobriety at this time. I am looking forward to the experience. I am going to keep things loose in terms of destinations. I am flying into Vienna and will take a train to Zagreb. This means I leave to return to the US from Vienna as well. I will have to explore that city and give it its due.

As promised, the enclosed picture is of the new baby, the Canon 50D. I have the 50mm L series lens attached for the full effect. That’s a lot of glass, as they say.

What a time to be alive!

Johnnyboy

P.S.–Nice job America! Now let’s get to work!
–J