Day count-23…and strange dreams…

As of this upcoming Tuesday, February 9th, I will have only three weeks until I head back to Greece.  There are some new reasons I am looking forward to this experience.  The first is to get away from NetFlix and my addiction to ‘CSI’, ‘Burn Notice’, and all the other crap I can watch incessantly until the wee hours of the morning.  The second is to have a new eye on the world through the lens.  I need that desperately.  The third is a chance to re-evaluate my new relationship.

She wants marriage and children, I do not.  We have been honest about that.  She is 35 and two years sober, I am 45 and 7.  We have vastly different emotional needs.  I am happy on the journey, she has a destination and more expectations than I do.  Will this work?  I don’t know.  Does she define my life?  Certainly not, but sometimes I think that she has a real co-dependent streak that feels a bit too clingy.  We are discussing these things, albeit slowly.

I have some odd dreams in the past two nights.  I had a drunk dream in which I found out I had a strange, non-threatening cancer and decided to drink 5-start Barbados rum as a result.  I did not feel bad about it, but I was relieved when I woke up and found both events to be a figment of my imagination.  In the second dream I was walking along a semi-deserted street at night and came across an old friend named Colette, who was hooking.  She was also buying a bag of drugs.  I hugged her and she told me she was sick.  I said “That’s OK” and took care of her.  Strange dreams…

Johnnyboy