I, atheist…

The more time I spend here, the more I am realizing that I am an atheist (not agnostic). My belief in a Higher Power has very little to do with an active god in my life, but rather a power that exists in the universe that has no consciousness or plan. Call it bio-electric, call it whatever you want, but I think it is a quantifiable substance that all life exudes, absorbs, contains, etc…When we die, this energy is released into the ether and absorbed by other life forms.

My faith consists of knowing that this energy exists and allows us to have 6th sense feelings about people and situations, thus the idea if ‘vibes’, good or bad.

We are attracted to people with similar vibes as a matter of simple magnetism, and repelled by those who do not have that.

People’s actions can change the charge of said energy, hence when I was drinking, my vibe changed and altered not only my aura (for lack of a better term) but consequently, my personality, attracting me to people and situations that I would normally find not suitable.

This feels very good to me. As if have been able to see something that was always there, but needed this dichotomy of faith and belief to truly be seen. It is also larger and more powerful than me, connecting as it does the entire universe.

Thank you, Obi-wan Kenobi…


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Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.

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