Much has happened since I returned from San Antonio in July. It has been a month since my last blog and the world still turns, I am still here and sober, etc…I’m feeling a bit snarky today,actually, like I want to correct everything everyone says. Not a good feeling for me, and all too familiar. My ‘Daily Reflections’ reading today was about the ‘design for living’ AA has given me. I have a choice: I can go on living the design, which seems to be working out splendidly or skip it and be my old, willful, arrogant self which got me nowhere good. I’ll stick with working the program.
I have registered for the big LGBT Round-Up in Provincetown in October. According to friends it is a blast and a half. I grew up in Provincetown (my family owned a house there for 40 years) from 1966 until 2001, mostly in the summer. My father was, and still is, a part of the arts community there and I a lot of people. I have never experienced it sober however. This will be fun. The light in October is especially lovely–good for photography.
I have been tossing the idea around about getting a new sponsor and have finally decided against it. Instead of thinking that I have ‘outgrown’ the current one, I have come to conclusion that it is best to be comfortable in an established relationship than to jump ship when I feel bored or even unsure. He and I are meeting tomorrow for coffee so I’ll talk to him about it. That and other things. I am growing increasingly uncomfortable with sarcasm and ‘ball-busting’ at meetings. I think it is immature and only highlights the individuals inability to feel at home. Like me feeling snarky, they are not wearing life like a loose garment. OK. Off to greet the world, do my chores and bask in the beauty of sober living, one-day-at-a-time.
I have been watching re-runs of “Queer As Folk” via Netflix. I have been enjoying the soapy quality of the show, and although all the characters are sudsy stereotypes i find that I admire Emmet the most. He is the most out, proud and strong character, with more self-esteem than all the others combined. He is also the most feminine and flamboyant. Interesting.