Old nightmares and real dreams upon awakening…

I stayed up late and watched “The Shawshank Redemption.”  It is a wonderful movie about hope, value and reward of innocence and the punishment of greed.  The downside is that I had a wicked nightmare that I was back in jail, this time for the rest of my life and all the gifts of sobriety had been taken away from me.  I woke up and immediately hit my knees and said “Thank you!”,  continued on with my daily prayer and began my day.

This is an old movie and thank God does not actually play very often in the theater of the mind.  It can be distressing, but it does remind me of what could happen if I make the choice to go back out and try drinking again–jails, institutions and death.  Not today.


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Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.

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