Down to the nitty-gritty…

Johnnyboy

I am off to Europe (Italy and Greece) in less than 4 weeks and I am getting my sober shit together.  I have been downloading lots of speakers onto my iPod and my new MacBookPro, which is funny, because I cannot load the new stuff of the MacBook onto the iPod because it will erase all the stuff from the iMac–bad system and probably has to do with copyright and sharing.  So I will have different speakers on each unit with little overlap.

Anyway…I have also sent out an email blast to my worldwide AA friends about having some Skype get-togethers while I am away and on the island. So far two responses–one from Australia and the other from Serbia.  This will be a good start.  It really is up to me to stay sober and sane and if I want it bad enough, I’ll go to any lengths.  To that aim I have made a decision to go to the Tuesday night meeting in Marpissa and skip the art history lecture.  I have been through that lecture already so I won’t miss anything.

I am wary about what the Italian experience will be.  I am certainly not going to be stand-offish, but I have to remember my place as an adult in a group of much younger adults than I, some of whom have never experienced the world outside America.  I must be the quiet guide to their questions and wondering eyes. I must also not be their teacher.  As a sober man I must be the upstanding example of sobriety and not some nut-job.

So I begin the packing…More long pants for this trip, lighter sweaters, neater wear as opposed to the island fashion that Paros demands.  August 29th approaches…

More to come…Johnnyboy

Acceptance working well…plus bowling…

Johnnyboy

I have been practicing some good acceptance lately.  Essentially I am not God so I have no control over anyone, anything or any situation.  I can influence these aspects of life, usually badly, but I cannot actually change them.  They will be what they are.

I have been in contact with the AA folks in Italy, primarily Florence, and they at least know that I am coming at the end of August.  I can go to a couple of meetings before I head to Pistoia, where the school will stay for a few weeks.  There are no contacts in Pistoia, so it will be me, the telephone and God for a while.  I will practice acceptance and keep my nose out of other people’s business!  That’s a good start.

I have been invited to go bowling this weekend with a gay bowling league in a nearby town.  I haven’t bowled in a while so it will be interesting, plus the added queer dimension should be fun.  Why do I have a feeling I am going to run into someone from my past, and I mean longtime-ago-past?  It’s not a “sober” bunch, but neither are they drunks, just normal humans.  I am looking forward to the chance to socialize with some new faces and who knows what may happen.  If I keep walking through the open doors I will experience more and more of life.  It is still strange to think that when I came out over ten years ago, bowling and real social activity was not part of the scene for me. Drinking, tom-catting and acting snarky and cynical were de rigueur–all very unhealthy, especially he tom-catting.  I acted pretty slutty to get what I wanted from whomever I picked up in the bar.  At least I played safe.

Hotter than the hinges of hell (as my mama would say) here in Somewheresville.  No rain predicted, just more hazy, hothothot and humid.  Pray for rain…

Johnnyboy