Pedestals, sponsors, and trust…

Over the past week I have been able to put some physical distance between myself and my sponsor and reflect on the recent events in our relationship. I came to a startling conclusion, and one for which I think I owe him an amends: I have placed him on a pedestal. This is true. I have viewed this guy as such the paragon of virtue and good works that I have forgotten that he is another alcoholic in recovery just like me. I have blindly done everything that he has asked me to do not for the purpose of making myself feel better, but to please him and ultimately make him like me. This is not a good thing because it has made me take steps in directions that, after thoughtful meditation, I find I do not need to take. He has thrown the stick and like a good dog I have played “fetch”.

But something else has happened that I have only just realized. When he set the most recent task before me, and I moved forward with it to the best of my ability, he accused me of ‘spinning’ a different story to my therapist in order to weasel my way out of the chore. This is not true. I stated our (sponsor/sponsee) goal clearly and without fear, spin, or negativity, and my therapist warned me against the move. When I told my sponsor the results, he made the accusation. In short, despite my truthfulness, he didn’t believe that I had acted accordingly in the process. He thought that I had lied to him, or “stretched the truth”, if you prefer. So what do I do with a sponsor who doesn’t believe me when I tell him the truth?

Help me out here. I need some advice from you folks.


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Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.

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