I love receiving mail. There is a childish part of me that jumps at the chance to have Christmas every morning when I go to the post office. My email can have the same effect. This morning, after I had waded through a small puddle of spam I found a letter from my sister, who is travelling in Iran with her husband. He is Iranian and they have been married for about 5 years now. She has an Iranian passport so she can travel freely in that country. She keeps her US passport safely tucked away lest it is found by the Iranian authorities. If that happened she’d be deported and would never be allowed to come back to Iran, a country that she has grown to love. Her email was more about her next little series of travel plans through the 1st of July, but there was one interesting bit. Because she has an Iranian passport, she is allowed to vote in the current run-off election between Rafsaanjaani and the other, more conservative, guy. I find all of this very exciting. To think that by voting we can change the world, even in small ways, is a great leap from the idea that one king, dictator, tyrant, benevolent despot, CEO, mullah, or Top Dog can make all of the decisions shaping our lives. We must never give up on this belief that we are making a difference when we vote. Only fascists want us to think otherwise.
My therapist cancelled my appointment this morning, which has now freed up an hour for my own fun. I think I’ll go over to The Salvation Army and Goodwill and see if they have any nice shirts or something. I really love to shop at those places. Even though I can afford more expensive things, I find great satisfaction in knowing that by buying used clothing I am not contributing to the sweatshops of the world. Plus, where else can you find Ralph Lauren for $3?
I’m not fighting, I think…
The first thing I read this morning told me that I am free, that I don’t have to fight anything or anyone anymore. What a relief. I, of course, at breakfast, ruined that by bringing up the sticky subject of my sister’s stubbornness. I tried to be very open minded but I found myself getting frustrated and in deeper than I wanted to go. So I gave up and we changed the subject. The “we” I am referring to is my mother, who at the age of 81 needs someone around just in case. There is plenty of room in the house and as of yet this living arrangement hasn’t cramped my busy social calendar. But I don’t need to fight anymore. I need to remember this. I can work on myself today, and let other people just be.
So many wonderful things have happened to me in the last few months. I was writing a gratitude list last night(!) and it occurred to me that I have it really good. I am sober and getting somewhat sane, my family loves and supports my goals, I am building a circle of sober friends, there is no one coming to drag me away (anymore), I eat, sleep, play, work, and relax very well, and I am working on going back to school soon to finish my BA. Amazing. I dropped out of college (Denver University) in 1985 because I wasn’t getting what I wanted (more beer) and took the route of The School of Life. I worked in restaurants, went to culinary school, eventually became a chef, made the money, all that stuff. So now I am going back to school and will be majoring in journalism. First, however, I must write a 2-page paper for my orientation meeting. I was given a choice of subjects:
A. Describe your job, and how it is easy or difficult.
B. What obstacles have you overcome, and how?
Pretty vague stuff. I may take question A, because it’s easy. Strangely enough, I’ll be writing about a field in which I no longer work and which practically killed me. I guess it will be easy.
I recently returned from a stunning trip to The Balkans (Croatia, Slovenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, and Greece) and have put up a bunch of pictures so please feel free to check them out. There are also pictures from The Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome and a growing album of my airplane models. Having a hobby is relaxing for me. I can lose myself in the building of an airplane kit, focusing on the tiniest of details. Go here http://photobucket.com/albums/a248/jono1965/ and check ’em out.