Month: August 2005

I fooled myself into thinking that I could skip some meetings this week. I went 3 whole days without and was suffering the consequences until a few hours ago. I went to a meeting and really spilled my guts about how crazy I felt and how off-the-beam I was acting. Paranoid, self-pitying, depressed–all that crap.

I be better now, thank you.

I think I fooled myself into thinking that since I was alone, without the influence of active alcoholics in the house for a few days, that I could rest on my laurels. My goofing off almost backfired this time. I started feeling a little too willful and self-sufficient, believing that I was in control of things.

I was really scared.

I feel better. I ran into a friend at the gas station and he told me that Mercury was in retrograde and that it would be a tough time for me this week. He also felt that I should not have backed off on my attendance at meetings. He was right, but the experiment is over.

I have learned:
1. I need a meeting every day
2. I cannot take my sobriety for granted
3. I need a meeting every day.

I think I’m back in the moment, finally.

Johnnyboy

Sweetie Pie is drinking water, I just had a great talk with my sister about all kinds of things, both she and my mother arrived safely from their trip. In short, all’s well that ends well.

Except…

On TV I saw Bush speak to a bunch of employees at a Caterpillar factory in Indiana or somewhere like it. Before he began to speak, he rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. I don’t know why, maybe it was hot. I seem to remember that Juan Peron used that same tactic to endear himself to the workers of Argentina, as in “By rolling up my sleeves, I prove that I am not a bureaucrat. but rather a common man of the soil, ready to break an honest sweat.”

What a load of crap.

Johnnyboy