Month: September 2005

Not much going on around here except that the wind is blowing, the leaves are turning, and it seems to be a little grayer in the sky than usual. I love fall. I am a seasonal person, needing the changes from Winter to Spring, etc…

The Autumn harvests are the best. Squashes, apples, pears, late tomatoes and corn, all great stuff. I can smell the roastie-toastie aromas of home kitchens everywhere.

I’m a little sore from going to the gym yesterday, but I can’t wait to go back tomorrow and have a go at my second session. I will lose the weight, keep it off, eat better, sleep better, and gain much needed muscle, especially in my back. I think that my gut is a result of my weak back. I tend to slouch.

Here are the haiku…

#10.
Trying to explain
how much I miss and love you
over the phone lines.

#26.
Saxophones motor
the drumming wheels of hi-hats,
steered by pianos.

#38.
A slow groaning turn,
felt, rather than seen or heard,
as I sit and breathe.

Johnnyboy

I had a long talk with my sponsor this morning. He feels that there are different reasons for my feeling the way I do about my homegroup. I guess I need to remember that groups change and grow, and shrink, and that this evolution is natural. I will not be firing him. He has reassured me that there is no ‘movement’ to try to change AA. I believe him, so I’ll stick with him. I told him that I felt I needed a stricter, more focused sobriety. He suggested I work on a step a week, for 12 Weeks. I agreed. So this week I work on Step 1, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives had become unmanageable.”. So I’ll do some reading, write out my Top 10 drinking escapades, and get back on the beam. To be honest, the 2 of us never did this, so I’m looking forward to the work.

Another good thing is that I finally joined a gym. I just spent an hour or so with a trainer who showed me the ropes, etc…We talked about routines, goals, diet, and other stuff. I’ll be going 3 days a week (M,W,F) for a few months. It’s looking good.

These are some of the things I am grateful for:
1.Going back to school
2.Getting healthy, in body and mind.
3.Recognizing that there are people who care about me.
4.Having a home, with food on the table.
5.Not being in jail.
6.Having a fascinating (for me) hobby.
7.Being available if someone needs me.
8.Understanding that I’m stubborn.
9.Working on ‘Letting Go’.
10.Being sober, without which the above statements would not be valid.

Now I have to read a boatload of Aristotle.

Johnnyboy