Month: March 2006

By this title I do not mean ‘at my job’ but rather the other menaing. Her are 2 examples of my mind being elsewhere.

1. My little notebook that I brought with me to Karme Choling, in hich I wrote the three haiku for yesteday’s post is MIA. It’s not in the bag I brought, nor is it in my car. This mean it is probably still at KCL in Vermont. I’ve called them and they have told me that they’ll check the L ‘n’ F and send it to me if it is indeed there. I think that I left it in the dining hall one day before lunch and forgot about it in my enthusiasm to breathe. Not a mindful moment.

2. Yesterday I chose to go to the VW garage nearby instead of NYC like I had planned. My car needed some work so I decided to take care of these matters before persuing frivolous activities. I dropped the car off and walked to the nearby bank to use the ATM so I could have some coffee at Barnes and Noble, read, kill time, etc…I took the money and receipt but forgot to take my card back. I went on my oblivious, liesurely, way only to discover the missing plastic when I tried to buy the new Kate Bush album. So I went back to the bank, and yes, they did have the card. Unfortunately they would not give it back to me. Bank policy states that the card must now be destroyed. No amount of ID would get it back for me. I felt like gunning down every goddamned person in the room, but I also realized that it wasn’t their fault, it was mine. So I let it go, and I was much better.

So I went through the painless procedure of ordering a new card, which I will receive in a week or so.

What a pain in the ass I can be to myself! This means I have to go to the bank and use a check or slip to get money when I need it. I am unused to doing this. I’ll be OK, though, as long as I am mindful of when I need to have dough for gas and so on.

What I really want is my notebook. Those were good haiku…

Johnnyboy

What an amazing weekend! I just came back from the Karme Choling meditation center in Barnet, VT. I’d like to say that my head was turned around, upside down, etc…Bu that’s not what the weekend was about. For those who don’t know, they teach ‘Shambala’ training ther, which is the way of the Warrior. It’s not a matter of being fierce, but rather to have the courage and bravery of a warrior in order to face yourself and all that you are, and realize that this is the body and mind with which to reestablish an enlightened state. It is so simple, that it seems too simple. As a novice, I know that more difficult paths lie ahead, but only if I make them difficult. I am learning how to be mindful (thanks Rex, you sly blogger…), and to breathe. The point is not to empty your mind, but rather to allow the thought to arise, notice them, and come back to the outbreath and let the thought go. Bill Brauer referred to this as ‘touch and go’. Say hello/goodbye to your thoughts and breathe, coming back to the outbreath. That allows the confused mind to clear. He used a metaphor of a glass of water and a pinch of dirt dropped into it. It becomes muddied, and the confused mind stirs it up, or uses the spoon to try and stop the swirling. The trick is to remove the spoon altogether and just let the dirt settle on its own, then the glass becomes clear.

It’s not hard, but it requires a certain lack of effort to achieve this goal. It’s also enough to try. If you are trying, then you are meditating.

“How did the Boddhisatva reach Nirvana?”

“Practice, practice, practice.”

I guess my head was turned around…

…only gently.

Johnnyboy