Month: July 2008

After the incident on Sunday night, I was concerned about sabotage, fallout, or whatever. Honestly, I was nervous about sticking my head out the door. But I threw caution to the wind and headed out into the world.

So far, so good. This puts in sharp relief the tendency I still have to blow things out of proportion. I also tend to let others live rent free in my head…still! I guess in most cases this would not happen, but here in Me?ugorje it did. I have decided to not bother anyone else with the issue, and certainly not bring the topic up again. Henceforth, I will refer to it as ‘the topic’.

I ended up talking to another AA about it, though. This fellow knows something about being controversial in this place and as a Roman Catholic, seeing as he is gay. He’s a really nice guy and talked me down from my fear and reminded me that anywhere else I might have been able to have a civil discussion about ‘the topic’ but not here in the heart of fundamentalism. He reminded me to keep my business close to my chest as well, seeing as this is a small town and people are really bored. Therefore, one’s own business is very interesting to them.

Today has been a cloudy and cold day, with frequent high winds. Not much of a summer scene, but it will change. I had nothing to do today so I read, had lunch, napped, had some coffee, and now I am here updating. Tomorrow bodes more of the same, but the sun is supposed to return in the afternoon. Friday I head off early for a blissful and anonymous weekend alone in central Bosnia to the small town of Jajce (Yay-yets-say). I return on Sunday evening. Monday through Wednesday are pretty busy and then just two days until I leave this one-god-town.

Not a moment too soon…Go back to sleep now doggy. Good dog.

Johnnyboy

Last night I became embroiled in a heated ”discussion”. It started off with a a brief outline of the recent Treaty of Lisbon with an Irish couple and the next thing I knew I defending Roe vs Wade while they started preaching at me – at me.

The upshot is that I had believe in god or else. My ”rational mind is blocking the Spirit of God from entering me.” To be honest that sounds a bit invasive… I was willing to respect their right to believe in what they wished to believe in, yet they were unable to let me have my own beliefs in return.

This is yet another glaring difference between the system in Europe and United States. It makes me understand even more fully why my ancestors left the European continent (Ireland, Scotland, and Germany) in search of a different life. After realizing that the discussion had disintegrated completely and there was no debate anymore, and I was being preached at, I said, ”Excuse me, I do not appreciate being preached at, so this is where I say ‘good night’.” I left the table.

The jist of their rationale is that it is alright for the government to tell women what to do with their bodies–in this case. So where does it end…? What will they allow their government to do next? Will they allow their government to tell them how to worship? How about peaceful assembly? How about the right to vote? What about free speech? It sounds to me as if these two extremely devout, fundamentalist, Vatican II, Roman Catholics would fit right in in a totalitarian or fascist system. Let the government tell you when, and how, to take a dump. I was so shaken up by this ‘conversation’ that it took three phone calls and another three hours before I fell asleep.

This is what I dreamed…

I was on a religious retreat as an exploration of faith. We were in the woods around a long wooden table, very roughly hewn. There were about five of us…all dressed in robes, not unlike monk’s habits. Dinner was thin soup, salad on wooden plates, and white wine followed by small jiggers of fiery brandy. I drank the wine and brandy…I had a drunk dream, and awful one. I tried in vain to contact anyone via text-messaging and finally reached my sponsor, telling him that these people were crazy and I had to get out. He told me that all was well and that I did not have to believe what they believed. I was planning my escape from the group when it was announced that the retreat was over and we would all be driven home. On the bus back home I commented to some other attendees that this way was not for me, and perhaps not for everyone. They agreed, the sun came out, and all was well. End of dream.

What a relief! My right to believe what I wish to believe is safe from the dogmatic and draconian Old World. I do not have to agree with what anyone else believes either, merely respect their right to belief. That is a fundamental right that all human beings must have. It is the foundation upon which all others are built.

I have used way too many italicized words in this post.

Sorry to sound preachy.

I’ll have more to report on this, I imagine.

Johnnyboy