Today I woke up feeling not so bad, considering yesterdays tragedy and pain. I had made some plans to get some things done, so I followed through with them. There is nothing like being alive to take your mind off the past. I was able to have my car fixed (a new headlight), I made a huge Asian broccoli salad for an AA BBQ tomorrow, and I drove to Hudson for a couple odds and ends. The trip to shop turned out unsuccessful in some ways, but I did pick up some flowers for my mother. She is in deep mourning over the loss of Miss Kitty, and I share her grief, but in a different fashion. I talk about it with people.
Last night at the meeting I spoke to a few people about how I felt, the death, etc…I was given loads of sympathy and advice. It just felt so much better to get out so many of the feelings and have the response be signified by yet another fellowship of souls. Once again I find that I am not alone.
One woman talked to me about her ‘rescue cats’–cats that she has rescued from the ASPCA and other places. It occurred to me that we had rescued Miss Kitty on that cold, December evening 4 years ago. I feel that we now have an obligation to rescue another lonesome cat. This is what Miss Kitty would have wanted. She was a hopeful cat, and preferred not to feel sad or depressed. She would not want our house lacking in feline influence. She would want us to find another to take her place.
We can never ‘replace’ Miss Kitty. We can only remember the joys of the past and find new joys in the present, building a future with those moments. A new cat will be just that: original and unique, with its own humors and habits that we will quickly grow to love, and someday remember with deep fondness.
So goes life, if you let it.
Johnnyboy
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