Author: Johnnyboy

Einstein posited that time was relative. He was right, and the proof is that today is Thursday and I am posting the haiku from Tuesdat today. Where did they go, you ask? They didn’t go anywhere, but were right here, on my desk, all along, in another time/space continuum.

Jabberjabberjabber. All excuses. I was lazy, too busy, or something, to post them, but I do agree with Albert anyway.

I received another great grade for a paper–‘A-‘ for my Descartes/Locke comparison. So far so good, and my Lit prof likes my third peice as well, although I haven’t received a grade for that one yet.

I visited with my father last night in a nearby town famous for its horse racing and recuperative waters. He is staying for a week at a nearby artist’s retreat for a little r&r from school, etc…It was wonderful to see him, although the conversation eventually turned to the subject of my sister and the distance that has grown between them. It is really very sad, and I have spoken of it before, so I won’t go into it too much. It is enough to know that we all love her, himself included, and we want nothing more than to understand why she is so closed off to this love. On top of that she is denying him access to his grand-daughter by this chasm of pain she has constructed. This is not healthy for anyone and hurts the innocent the most. But we all love her and our hands are always outstretched. Someday perhaps she can be with us in love and communication and not dwell on the shifty memories she has constructed to further the anger on which she feeds.

Here are the haiku…

#22.
dangerous places
the soul’s geography
uncharted, unknown.

#23.
head up in the clouds
feet drifting above the ground
unanchored, astray.

#24.
watching the parade–
humanity walks past the window
of the coffeeshop.

Johnnyboy

I heard once that the most beautiful thing about the human heart is its ability to break. In those moments of sadness due to the loss of a loved one or a cherished family pet, our broken hearts fill with the gratitude of having experienced the love, closeness, joy, and of having known them for that brief time.

Of course, the broken hearts that litter the world due to unrequited or unreturned love are just a reminder of our own gentleness and search for compassion in a tough existence.

It’s all good. Although it can feel like a senseless waste at the time, perhaps we can see through the fog of pain to the truth: that we have loved honestly and with our hearts.

My head has come down from the clouds of the past few weeks. My feet are back on the earth where they belong, instead of drifting a few inches above the ground.

Tomorrow is my mother’s 82nd birthday, and for a gift I have left a card on the breakfast table for her when she wakes up early tomorrow morning. Tonight in class the teacher handed back one of my papers, one that I was sure flopped hard. It’s an ‘A’. I left that for her to see as well, not to toot my own horn, but to let her know that I’m doing alright. It’s only because of her that I can even go to school.

I cherish these moments and days with her in ways that are hard to describe. I hug her small body at times, just to let her know how I feel. I kiss her on the forehead when I leave the house for any length of time, and remind her that I’ll be home soon. I write my schedule on her calendar so she knows what’s going on with her son. There is nothing more fulfilling for me than to cook her dinner, or help her with an errand. How often did she do that for me, when I was a child and a drunken adult, and I never wondered or asked her why? I want nothing in return for this, and there is nothing that could begin to compare to the experience I am having. This warmth that I feel, and this worry, this pain…This is love. When I think I can put my thoughts into words I end up smiling, shrugging my shoulders, and giving a great sigh of gratitude for this journey I am on.

I have never seen such a huge place in which to store our lives as in the small chambers of the human heart.

Johnnyboy