As of this upcoming Tuesday, February 9th, I will have only three weeks until I head back to Greece. There are some new reasons I am looking forward to this experience. The first is to get away from NetFlix and my addiction to ‘CSI’, ‘Burn Notice’, and all the other crap I can watch incessantly until the wee hours of the morning. The second is to have a new eye on the world through the lens. I need that desperately. The third is a chance to re-evaluate my new relationship.
She wants marriage and children, I do not. We have been honest about that. She is 35 and two years sober, I am 45 and 7. We have vastly different emotional needs. I am happy on the journey, she has a destination and more expectations than I do. Will this work? I don’t know. Does she define my life? Certainly not, but sometimes I think that she has a real co-dependent streak that feels a bit too clingy. We are discussing these things, albeit slowly.
I have some odd dreams in the past two nights. I had a drunk dream in which I found out I had a strange, non-threatening cancer and decided to drink 5-start Barbados rum as a result. I did not feel bad about it, but I was relieved when I woke up and found both events to be a figment of my imagination. In the second dream I was walking along a semi-deserted street at night and came across an old friend named Colette, who was hooking. She was also buying a bag of drugs. I hugged her and she told me she was sick. I said “That’s OK” and took care of her. Strange dreams…
Johnnyboy