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The Journey's the Thing…

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Author: Johnnyboy

Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.

School, reality, etc…

03/11/2005 Johnnyboy

I’m still doing very well in school. Chalk up three more ‘A’s from my research writing class for a good indication of that. In return we were given a pretty big pile of homework for the next 2 weeks. I have to start writing my paper on “Harriet Miers: The Right Choice” (more about that in a minute…) and a 3 page article summary, plus a hefty amount of reading. On top of that I need to finish up my philosophy reading (100 pgs) and start writing a 10 pager for that class. So I’ll be busy, and the month will fly by.

The Harriet Miers thing is kind of funny. I chose the idea based on the philosophy that going against my current thoughts will make me work harder to truly understand the subject. So I am taking a pro-Harriet Miers stance. Now, some of you may think that this point is now moot. In some respects, yes, but not my angle. All I am trying to prove is that Shrub used the best information he had at the time to make the best decision he could have made, and she was it. It’s actually very interesting to log on to the conservative websites, newsites, and so on, and read their spin on the deal. There isn’t a whole lot of reliable reporting out there to support my stance, but it exists. I’m staying away from the bloggers, as a rule. Personal opinions are not what I’m looking for.

If you want to see a lame blog, go to Dennis Hastert’s Blog. I’m not going to link it, so just google and go. It really sucks. Boring, idiotic, and he doesn’t get what a blog is for. He’s a narrow-minded creep anyway, IMHO.

I’m finally sleeping well. My Neurocybernetic therapy is working. My therapist will be happy. I know it sound like science fiction, but it’s not. It’s just a way to retrain your high Beta, Alpha, and Theta waves to not have you on point every waking hour of the day, so when you do fall asleep, you sleep. A couple of weeks ago I was waking up in a panic every hour or so. Now I sleep through the night. This sleeping is but one symptom of my PTSD from being in jail. There are others, like panic at seeing people in uniforms, loud clanging noises, etc…

I have a feeling that family members are reading this blog in an attempt to keep up with my daily goings-on. It feels kind of like they are spying on me. Isn’t that strange? I mean, I don’t care if anyone reads this rant, but it is so odd to know that people are making up their minds about seriously personal issues based on an assemblage of meandering thoughts. It’s as if the are playing a game of “secret notes”, one clue leading to another in hope of finally being led to the cookie jar.

Hmmm…secret notes…

secrets suck

Johnnyboy

Haiku Tuesday…And more!

02/11/2005 Johnnyboy

Well, today I’ll make up for last weeks missed entry by posting two times the amount of haiku–that being six–as a way to make up for the lack thereof.

But first, the news…

My last posted blog drew a very angry response from my sister. This was not uncalled for as I did not use restraint of pen when posting my emotional feelings about a family issue. I should have used more discretion, but I didn’t. I am more than willing to accept responsibility for my actions, as I have in the past. I do so now and will continue to do so in the future. I hold no anger or hatred for anyone in my family. I overcame my anger towards my father years ago by having an honest dialog with him. I called him to task, and he did the same with me. Once the air was cleared we found that we were friends and that friendship has grown over the years. Today we speak to each other as men, not so much father and son. This is a much better relationship. It is based on truth, rationality, love, and respect. I no longer hold any resentments towards him. What a relief!

I have been told to not write about my family in this blog. This I cannot honor. Some may disagree, and that’s OK. The fact is that there are no names mentioned and no specific places beyond states or countries. Even my own moniker is a misnomer. My name is “John”, but no one calls me “Johnnyboy”, and last I checked the name “John” was high on the list of commonality. There are a lot of us out there. This blog is anonymous.

I am not airing anyone’s dirty laundry but my own. These thoughts that I write are my own. They are my feelings. They are my experiences in my life. I will write about whomever I choose to write about.

Here are the haiku…

13.
Wonderful dreams here
but disappointing wakings.
I’m still in my cell.

22.
The water is clear
stones patient in the streambed
the brook burbles on.

45.
Early morning light,
then the afternoon sun:
moments of the day.

54.
They kill people here.
Slowly, the soul is ground down
to a fine, pale, dust.

67.
Leaning heavily,
being pushed by the north wind:
silver birch saplings.

72.
The golden birch wood
shines brighter and seems more calm.
The world vanishes.

Johnnyboy

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