Author: Johnnyboy

Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.

What luck…!

Johnnyboy

For some reason I am now able to log on to this blog, something I was unable to do while overseas last spring, and the spring before that.  I am lucky in that way and since I am sober and working the 12 Steps to the best of my ability I am lucky at life, or at least in a state of acceptance and reasonableness.

I am in Italy.  Next week I’ll be in Greece.  I have attended a couple of meetings in Florence (noon and evening) but not since the beginning of the month.  This can be a dangerous predicament, but so far, so good. I have remained in contact with God all the while-hitting my knees, asking for help, minding my own business, being calm…so I del pretty good.  Today started off early, so I’ll have to watch for being tired this afternoon.  I will be in Rome for a couple of days next week so I will try to get to a meeting while I am there.  It seems that even the intent to go to meetings is a good start to keeping spiritually fit.  I was listening to a speaker last night on my laptop and he reminded me that attendance at a few meetings is alright, but no substitute for working the Steps.

When I am back in Greece I have the Parthenon Group while I am in Athens and then the small group on the island while I am on Paros.  I can make the Tuesday night meeting this time since I do not have the commitment to the art history lecture that I have had before.  This brings up the topic of me, my future and what that means.  I have no idea.  That’s the long and short of it.  I really must let God take these things in hand. True, I can do all the footwork, but sometimes even that is unclear.  Suit up and show up–and sometimes sit down and shut up.

Does my life include a larger role on Paros?  Am I successfully, if slowly, removing myself from the caregiving role I have had for so long?  I am still being asked to micro-manage some pooches from afar, but that’s alright as long as these actions do not become to consuming of my time and energies.  More will be revealed…

Johnnyboy

More acceptance and a search for happiness…

Johnnyboy

An AA friend of mine named Farmer Bill is fond of saying, “alcoholics would rather be right than happy!” and how true this is.  Today is one of those days when I can practice that particular path, i.e. working at being happy rather than right.  Through happiness comes serenity, or perhaps the other way around, but in any case you get the drift.  Here’s what I am tackling today…

1. My local ISP is upgrading the modems on all their DSL lines today. There will be an internet blackout sometime between 8AM and 4PM.  Now, I know this is a matter of a few switches.  There is no one out in the field connecting wires, building things, etc…Why do they still have to give this 8-hour window?  Why can’t they say they are upgrading at 10AM, or 3:30PM, and the lines will be down for about half and hour?

2. My car has been in the shop for a week.  I am fortunate to have another car to use, and I am grateful, but I want my Mini back.  The mechanic is waiting on a part.

3. The local power company is coming by today to look at a pole that needs replacing.  They gave me a time of arrival between 10AM and 12PM.  This has been the most sensible bunch so far.  I can wait this two hours but I bet they show up at noon.*

It would do no good to call any of these people, companies whatever…because no one will be able to tell me anything.  I certainly don’t want to call my mechanic and ask him anything because he may be in the middle of fixing my vehicle and I wouldn’t want to disturb him.  So the choice is mine:  Do I get self-righteous and grind my teeth or detach and find acceptance and happiness?  What choice do I really have?  I am powerless over these situations…HappinessI shall seek.

Johnnyboy

*It’s just after 10AM and the power company rep has just arrived!  Bravo!