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The Journey's the Thing…

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Author: Johnnyboy

Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.

She´s right, of course…

14/05/2007 Johnnyboy

Yes, it´s true. Apparently I brought the moving van along with me to Croatia. This is all very humorous and I will take it easy, as she advises. One day at a time, easy does it, Think, think, think. Knowing that she´s out there and I have seen her, kissed her, and sadly waved goodbye as the taxi drove her to the airport is hope enough for me.

Never fear, Muru, I will not put too much weight on this. It´s a blessing that we met, and this will happen again, in the time of our HPs.

Last night I had a wild dream. I was undergoing painful and trying trials by fire and endurance. At the end of these exertions I was told that I had become a ´soldier of God in the fight against the forces of Darkness´. I felt that ´God´ meant something much older and far more powerful than anything humanity could even conceive and that all I had to do was live my life as I am doing. Coming on the heels of great temptations to drink and exert my control over situations beyond my abilities, I feel that this has significance to me. I´ll be careful with whom I share this information lest they find me a nutter!

Sleep tight world, you´re getting smaller by the minute.

Johnnyboy

I’m in love…

13/05/2007 Johnnyboy

Actually I love the way she makes me feel. Her name is H. (for anonymity) and she lives in Finland. Yes, the distance is great, but that only makes the heart grow fonder. It also gives me an actual reason to move in the direction of relocation. As an EU citizen I could do this. I imagine summers in Finland and winters somewhere with more sun. She is darling, smart, and reads my mind. I can’t say enough about her.

The Croatian Convention was a great success for me. I learned many things about my own character assets and defects while overcoming terrible temptations to drink due to emotions over my cousin’s death. I discovered that I can feel love and not be afraid and want to run away at the concept of commitment. I can learn to laugh at those who live in a divided and sycophantic AA community and understand that because they are sicker than most, they deserve even more love.
All of this is truly a gift—the promises coming true as I sit here. Fear will no longer be something to fear, but rather a concept to examine and put in its place.

Wow. And to think I still have one more convention to go to and another three weeks of travel after that. Blessed? Let me count the ways…

1,2,3,4,5,….Ha!

Johnnyboy

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