Category: Bureaucratic nonsense

Updates, new things and decisions…

Johnnyboy

I have finally finished all of the paperwork needed for my final 12 credits in school.  What a horrible and humiliating process this has been; to justify the work I have done in one school (far superior to the one I currently attend) to a bunch of pencil-pushing bean counters.  Just plain stupid.  If I didn’t know better I’d think I was the subject of discrimination!  We shall see.  I’m pretty sure they’ll find a way to fuck me in some fashion.

I have been invited to be a part of an arts community here which makes me enormously happy, but nervous.  They like my work and want me to be in with them.  This makes sense for some reason.  All of the other traditional paths set before me this summer have come up short: the wedding work–a dud–the work with the pro interior guy–fizzled from nothing.  So it seems like my HP is saying, “Get out there and do it yourself, and take the help when it is offered, but don’t count on it!”  So be it…

I have joined our house up with a local CSA in my little town.  This way we can get a box of assorted veggies every week for the next 13 weeks and be part of a community group at the same time.  I went last week and I was saddened to see that although many people have signed up for and take advantage of this great resource, there were no names on the list of real locals, except us.  The rest seemed to be folks who have transplanted themselves from the city or elsewhere.  This means that many townspeople are still shopping for produce at large supermarkets and buying truck veggies, instead of locally grown and seasonal stuff.  It all comes down to education, in my opinion, and choices.  Without knowledge one cannot make choices.  Knowledge is power.

I have to admit, though, that when I walked into their little store and met the man who is running the operation it made my choice easier…hot damn.  I could crawl over that thing for a few hours…Nice eyes too.  Apparently he’s already dating some other guy, though.  I can dream.

I qualified at my local gay AA group the other night and it felt really good and whole.  Very comfortable and they were able to get to know me a little bit better.  Some good responses.  It felt nice to be able to be ‘out’ in a way that I cannot at other AA groups in the area.  Still, the fellowship rocks and I am slowly getting out in the world.  I attended a dinner last night with some AA and non-AA friends.  the food was superb and I had a good time, but I was a little put off by some of the conversation.  Some of the guests had a lot in common, namely the Big City club scene from the late 1980s and early 1990s.  Not my thing-and I was busy working and practicing my drinking at that time, but I felt envious and left out of the conversation just the same.

OK.  I am off to do some shopping, hit the gym, and take some pictures along the way.  Tomorrow I take my mother to se ‘Oklahoma’ at the nearby Three Corners Art Center.  This will be fun for her-and me too, I hope.

Johnnyboy

2010 International Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous…

Johnnyboy

As former GSR of my AA homegroup I am still on the mailing list.  This means that I have received the applications for the 2010 International Convention being held in San Antonio, Texas next July.  I am going, and have only to mail my registration and book my room.  I’ll do that today.

I brought the applications to the meeting last night and made the announcement, held up the flyers, etc…Then I saw that the registration applications went into the chairperson’s notebook, which means they will never be seen again.  This makes me sick, and opens my eyes again to the apathy that surrounds me in this program.  This group is full of people with long-term sobriety who do nothing outside of coming to one meeting a week (maybe two) and leaving it at that.  How sad.  They have lost the gift of desperation and in doing so dampen the exciting fire of sobriety that I felt when I came into the rooms, and still feel at certain meetings.  They no little or nothing of the 12 Traditions (which are not suggestions, like the Steps), and to top it off, I found out last week at a business meeting that the current treasurer (15 years sober) had no idea what a prudent reserve was.  Once again, puking time is upon me.

In any case, their sobriety is not my own, and they can do what they want, but they give the impression that it is OK to just go to meetings and so forth.  They take it all for granted.  Blah, blah, blah…listen to me go.

Good news is all around me…Mom is doing much better (reading, with it, etc…) and the world still spins on its wobbly axis despite my disappointment with a bunch of whinging old ladies.  I am going to finish my thesis and photo class by the end of next week and move along in life.  This, I declare, is my goal today.

Johnnyboy