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Since my post this afternoon and now I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions. Around 4PM something triggered my itty-bitty committee and I went into a real nosedive.

My world was shit. It was all over. I was a failure. I was shit. No future.

Serious pity pot, poor me, etc…Thankfully I did not pour me a drink, but rather had dinner with the mom and ran to a meeting. I was an hour early so I sat in the parking lot until the door opened.

It was incredible. We celebrated the sober life of Joe B. who died 2 weeks ago from cancer. He would have had 30 years this month, so the group decided to honor him this way. What gratitude!

Then there was another speaker who shared about her life growing up being constantly molested by her uncles and then raped numerous times as an adult. She spoke of her anger, her alcoholism, her drug addiction, homelessness, hopelessness, and finally, the hope she has found in the rooms of AA.

My petty foibles vanished as quickly as they had come.

I had lost my gratitude and was not living one day at a time. Oy!

Next time when I find myself riding on that emotional high that goes on for days I’ll stop, take breather, and quiet my thoughts.

Oh, yeah…Around 7:30PM I was outside the meeting smoking a cigarette, freaking, and anticipating calling my sponsor afterwards when my cell rang. Yes, you guessed it…my sponsor.

Coincidence? Not a chance. He told me that when we were drinking we often celebrated those emotional highs by splurging on a choice bottle. He told me to go splurge on something healthy for myself. Which I will do. Something frivolous and fun.

Now I have to be frivolous and fun? Oy!

Johnnyboy

I’ve taken the day off, kind of. What this means is that I haven’t worked on school assignments or gone to the gym. I have, however, been productive.

I had a good session with my therapist this morning and went shopping for food for dinner with mom (salmon, acorn squash, and asparagus). I’ll make that later. I was planning on coming home and jumping right back into my essay, but there have been a couple of items I had been lax in attending. The most important is my upcoming trip to Greece in May. I leave on May 2nd and come home on the 30th, with an AA convention in the Pelopponese on the 18th to the 21st. I went to this convention last year and it was a blast! The official title is The South East European International English Speaking AA Convention and this year will be #12 for them. Last year about 500 people showed up, from all over Europe, Asia, North America, and Oceana. What a wild group! So, I realized that the rest of the time in Greece will be spent bopping about, mostly by boat. I’m not one for set-in-stone itineraries, but I’d like to have an idea of where I’ll be for the most part, especially with a scheduled assignation in the middle.

I’ll break out my ‘Rough Guide’ to Greece and start studying. One of my preparations, though, has been to transfer all my digital pictures from the trip last year to CD, which I did this afternoon. I was also in Croatia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Slovenia, and Italy (briefly) last year as well, so most of the pics were of that part of the trip. This time I’l get some more of the convention and Greece as a whole.

In the world of guidebooks, I have read most of them. A good friend used to work for Frommers, and they are good, but cater to a more ritzy clientele, as does Fodors, Michelin, and some others. The Lonely Planet people are great for people like me who bounce around and prefer grade ‘C’ hotels or small homestay situations. Big hotels are expensive, but I’ll splurge once in a while, if at least to take advantage of the laundry service, big bathrooms, and cable TV. My favorite guides are the ‘Rough Guide’ series. They are comprehensive, up-to-date, accurate, and give great historical background on the country in question. Historical background is essential if you want to avoid political or cultural faux pas.

So I’ll pack that book, my Big Book, Daily Reflections, and a small spiral notebook, along with a couple of pens, and my camera. My passports always stay on my person, as does the money and tickets.

I’m going to travel as light as possible this time. I’m getting better at packing the right amount of clothing–not too much or too little. I can always buy t-shirts or such while in-country.

I’ll do a ‘test pack” today as well, and see how full my rucksack is. One note: I always pack a couple of sarongs. they are incredibly versatile, useful as tableclothes, bedlinens, or virtually anything else in a pinch.

To quote Douglas Adams: “Always know where your towel is.”

Johnnyboy