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The Journey's the Thing…

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Another paper done!

21/02/2006 Johnnyboy

Well, I worked on my second paper this morning and finished around 3:30PM. A solid ten pages on the epistemological differences between Descartes and Locke (Rationalist v. Empiricist), proofread, paginated, all clean and shiny, and promptly emailed to my professor at college. He’s actually in Egypt at the moment, so he’ll have it when he returns on Friday. I hope the hell he likes it. I like it.

I have just downloaded Firefox as my browser, and I must say that perhaps it’s the novelty, but the thing runs faster than IE. The setup is different as well, so I’ll spend some time getting used to it.

My sister believes that we (her other two siblings) hate her. This is not true. We love her dearly and wish that she’d understand that. I have said some nasty things to her over the years, but when I made my amends I was pretty sure that I communicated to her that my lashing out was a result of my own resentments, angers, fears, and jealousies. I always seem to hurt the ones that I love, but I’m trying not to do that anymore. Sobriety is the key to that equation. So, anyway, the bridge was built this weekend and made of stern stuff, I think. She’ll cross it when she’s ready, and that’s alright. Until then I’ll be patient.

Tomorrow I start in on some more homework, more philosophy reading, and some Mesoamerican reading. Geez, I hope prof liked my Meso paper….

Johnnyboy

Self-validation…

20/02/2006 Johnnyboy

Through the labor that I am performing today in recovery I am learning how to feel right about myself. I am discovering that I do not need to look to others to validate my feelings or my actions. When I am upset or serene it is because of something that I am doing, not what others do around me. When I succeed or fail it is because of the work that I have done, not the judgments of those in my presence. When I do not know the answer or feel unsure about my path I ask for help, either from my God or a person wiser than myself. I am beginning to love myself and therefore able to love everyone else. I understand that many people do not yet have these gifts . For them I reserve my compassion, love, and patience. I pray that those without may find a similar peace.

These are the terms with which I live.
This is life on life’s terms.

Johnnyboy

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