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I’m just posting a small entry…The X-Files call…

Had a great day today. I just returned from a commitment in Poughkeepsie with Wayne and Joe, 2 friends from AA. We spoke at a transition housing unit connected to the Hudson Valley Psychiatric Center. Some really low bottoms in there, but all of the residents were eager and friendly and polite. I think some will make it, at least I hope so. I left with the same good feeling about my own sobriety. I am doing OK today, and it’s all because I am sober and able to show up for life. What a relief this is all turning out to be. I can make it through crises big and small and not drink or check out in any way. I’ll write more about this later, but now it’s time for more Mulder and Scully.

Johnnyboy

Sorry to all those who expected a blog yesterday. I completely forgot to write one. So let me recount some of the happenings in yesterdays life.

I met with my faculty mentor yesterday in Latham at 3PM. We discussed my past education, my present situation, and where I was going. As it turns out I will not be receiving much in terms of credit for my Associates Degree from culinary school. Unless I can show that I attended classes in the sciences, languages, history, college algebra, humanities, etc…I will get nada. When I was told this disappointing news, I immediately began to seethe. “How could they?”, I thought. My mind went nuts for about 10 seconds. I was King, I was in charge, and don’t they know who I am? Thankfully this thinking never left my head.

So, it seems I’ll have to take some actual classes when I return to school, instead of skating through on what I think that I’ve earned and what I think I deserve. In a split second my mind warmed to the idea of taking a ‘hard science’ (I’m thinking geology), some math (algebra), history (American), a foreign language (I am going to avoid French, having studied it in high school), and a few other subjects deemed part of the core curriculum of any college or university. My concentration will be in political science and philosophy, so I’ll look to that end to decide on my core studies. Once again I find that I am not that special and that there is nothing unique about me or my personal history.

In any case, the meeting went well, and I was given in-state status. I have paid for the first semester, which begins in September. My first 2 classes will be an intro class on college writing, called, BTW, Introduction to College Writing, and The History of Western Philosophy, Pt. 1. The philosophy class will be taught by my mentor, Dr. Charles Fox, who I find to be an engaging and straightforward fellow. The writing class will be taught by Claudia Hough, whom I have yet to meet. I am excited, eager, and looking forward to doing something that will help build my future.

So when I came home yesterday at 6:30PM, I was exhausted. I had been on the road since 10AM that morning, all around Berkshire, Columbia, and Rensselaer Counties. The drive home was the worst, in rush hour traffic from Albany, in sweltering heat, at speeds in excess of 70MPH. I can only imagine what it must be like to live at that pace 5 or 6 days a week. No wonder stress, frustration, and the results of them are so prevalent in society. This world needs to take a chill pill and just stop for a few months. Thankfully I will only be driving up to Albany a few times each month, and in the evening to boot. I’ll miss some of the craziness and life-sucking vortex of the rush hour lifestyle. The quality of my life is incredibly serene here in the country, where things move at a more natural and unhurried pace.

Outside I can hear the frogs on the pond and the owls in the trees. In a couple of hours the coyotes will start to wail. Last night I stood outside for a cigarette and heard them howling off in the distance, miles away it seemed. The air was clear and the moon was full, but waning slightly. In the blue light I saw the shadows of trees, motionless, and an eerie reflection off of the ponds surface, caught on floating algae. If I looked directly at the shadows they were indistinct and amorphous. Viewed from the corner of my eye they were sharp as day. I imagined what life must have been like years ago, in the days of superstition, with the banshee wailing , shifting shadows under the moonlight, and the cries of spirits flying through the trees. I’ll take that over a freeway any day.

And maybe I’ll take Russian, or Chinese…

Johnnyboy