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In five days I will be out of Bosnia, gone from Me?ugorje, and in Split, Croatia. Simple joy cannot express the feeling. Although i have met and worked with some remarkable people here, most have been illustrative of…whatever. I have spoken enough of them already.

The other day I was on a bus heading into the center of the country. The thought suddenly crossed my mind, ”what am I doing here in Bosnia?” It was as if I had realized I had awoken from a weird dream. I mean, really…Bosnia? Of course, I am volunteering, etc…but it reaffirmed the fact that I have been here too long, seen too much to be instructive, and so forth. I have grown to loathe this country in many ways. What I love about it is very superficial.

If I never see another bullet-ridden shell of a blown-up building, another nationalistic graffiti strewn concrete wall, or another banner-toting reactionary, it will be too long.

Today I work with my good friend Janet again, and tomorrow afternoon as well. Then it is a final three days of laundry, packing, a bus ticket purchase, and ‘do ve?enja Bosna’, maybe forever.

I am actually growing paranoid about some of the people here. There are too many holy-rollers, theocratic flag-wavers, and narrow-minded sycophants for my taste.

Johnnyboy

After the incident on Sunday night, I was concerned about sabotage, fallout, or whatever. Honestly, I was nervous about sticking my head out the door. But I threw caution to the wind and headed out into the world.

So far, so good. This puts in sharp relief the tendency I still have to blow things out of proportion. I also tend to let others live rent free in my head…still! I guess in most cases this would not happen, but here in Me?ugorje it did. I have decided to not bother anyone else with the issue, and certainly not bring the topic up again. Henceforth, I will refer to it as ‘the topic’.

I ended up talking to another AA about it, though. This fellow knows something about being controversial in this place and as a Roman Catholic, seeing as he is gay. He’s a really nice guy and talked me down from my fear and reminded me that anywhere else I might have been able to have a civil discussion about ‘the topic’ but not here in the heart of fundamentalism. He reminded me to keep my business close to my chest as well, seeing as this is a small town and people are really bored. Therefore, one’s own business is very interesting to them.

Today has been a cloudy and cold day, with frequent high winds. Not much of a summer scene, but it will change. I had nothing to do today so I read, had lunch, napped, had some coffee, and now I am here updating. Tomorrow bodes more of the same, but the sun is supposed to return in the afternoon. Friday I head off early for a blissful and anonymous weekend alone in central Bosnia to the small town of Jajce (Yay-yets-say). I return on Sunday evening. Monday through Wednesday are pretty busy and then just two days until I leave this one-god-town.

Not a moment too soon…Go back to sleep now doggy. Good dog.

Johnnyboy