Day count-23…and strange dreams…

As of this upcoming Tuesday, February 9th, I will have only three weeks until I head back to Greece.  There are some new reasons I am looking forward to this experience.  The first is to get away from NetFlix and my addiction to ‘CSI’, ‘Burn Notice’, and all the other crap I can watch incessantly until the wee hours of the morning.  The second is to have a new eye on the world through the lens.  I need that desperately.  The third is a chance to re-evaluate my new relationship.

She wants marriage and children, I do not.  We have been honest about that.  She is 35 and two years sober, I am 45 and 7.  We have vastly different emotional needs.  I am happy on the journey, she has a destination and more expectations than I do.  Will this work?  I don’t know.  Does she define my life?  Certainly not, but sometimes I think that she has a real co-dependent streak that feels a bit too clingy.  We are discussing these things, albeit slowly.

I have some odd dreams in the past two nights.  I had a drunk dream in which I found out I had a strange, non-threatening cancer and decided to drink 5-start Barbados rum as a result.  I did not feel bad about it, but I was relieved when I woke up and found both events to be a figment of my imagination.  In the second dream I was walking along a semi-deserted street at night and came across an old friend named Colette, who was hooking.  She was also buying a bag of drugs.  I hugged her and she told me she was sick.  I said “That’s OK” and took care of her.  Strange dreams…

Johnnyboy

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Johnnyboy

Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.