The Journey's the Thing…

My mind is going a thousand miles an hour. This is some of the crap that’s floating around in it:

Thomas Aquinas
St. Augustine
mousetraps
AA meetings I don’t like*
Car repair bills
8th Step
9th Step
can’tsleepcan’tsleepcan’tsleep

*The meetings in a nearby town are getting me down. There seems to be a clique existing. I get a bad vibe from the place. I have given this meeting a lot of effort. It’s not my homegroup, but I get a feeling that there is a real resentment against my being there. It’s not everyone, just, like I said, a small clique of overly macho guys with some chips on their shoulders. It’s my fault that I am renting space to them in my head. I have a feeling that people are spreading rumors about my time in jail. Why can’t I just turn it over and let it go? Someone suggested a while back (6 months or more) that I should just not go to those meetings. So, you see, this is not a new development. Perhaps that’s what I’ll do. I’ll find other meetings. But is this right? It’s just 3 or 4 guys, not the whole group.

I am really messed up about this crap.

Johnnyboy

Sorry for the missed days, and all of that jazz. I won’t promise it will never happen again. I suppose my schedule just became overwhelmed with too many things that kept me away from the mindset that perhaps I should write a blog entry or two…(breathing)…

Since last Tuesday I’ve had plenty to do. I wrote 3 papers for school and finished my text reading for my Philosophy class. I’ve been driving some newly sober guys around to meetings, which can be tiring. I’ve been sleeping late (9am) and staying up watching movies and…ahhm…engaging in my new addiction. It’s not drugs, not alcohol, nor is it porn or anything like that.

It’s worse…

It’s EBay.

I have discovered that Ebay is swarming with people selling model airplane kits. To top it off, they are great kits that have been discontinued for 20 or 30 years and are selling for pennies.

Alright, dollars, but still very cheap, and cheaper than going to a store or ordering them on-line from Poland, the Ukraine, the Czech Republic, or Pennsylvania. I have cornered the market in Revell Sopwith Triplanes, discontinued sometime in the 1970’s. I now own 3 kits, with 2 more on the way. I missed out on one that went to high, however. I figured I wouldn’t be too greedy and let someone else have some fun.

I met with my sponsor today and had lunch and talked about Step 8 for a while and then he showed me his other office, as opposed to the one in The Big City and the one In Our Nation’s Capitol. Very fun. Then I drove to Staples and bought some printer ink, and then to my shrinks for some more NeuroCybernetics. Yahoo!

So I’m staying in, on this gray, drizzly, evening, because tomorrow is another crazy day-in-the-life of Johnnyboy.

Here are the haiku…

#183.
Mostly cloudy skies,
a chance of rain overnight,
gradually clearing.

#195.
Spinning wheels turning
interlocking clockwork gears
steel springs unwinding.

#213.
Softening blue light,
a cool, damp, forehead compress
calms frantic spinning.

Johnnyboy