The Journey's the Thing…

I didn’t exactly sweat through the night, nor did I go to work dreading the inevitable, which is a good thing, because nothing happened. The final analysis?

I am paranoid. My fragile ego still thinks that people are talking about me, scheming, planning, behind my back. I had this vision of me locked in a room and being told that I cannot come out until I accept Holy Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, blah, blah, blah…What rubbish!

Nothing happened–except that I helped to load 26 huge garbage bags full of donated clothes into a storage room and then spent the next hour downloading pictures to my co-workers computer. That was it.

On another note, I have decided to sell my little PC laptop and buy a Mac to replace it. This unit will stay off the Internet and be used strictly for movie, music, and photo work. The one I am looking at is this one. I will be able to run all my old Windows software like Word and so forth, plus it will work better with my new PhotoShop CS3 setup. There is also a program called Aperture 2 that looks nice. Also…I get a discount since I am buying it as a student, which is good because it is very expensive.

Tonight is my penultimate AA meeting here in Me?ugorje; I have purchased my bus ticket for Saturday; All I need to do is pack my bags and…

Leave.

Johnnyboy

In five days I will be out of Bosnia, gone from Me?ugorje, and in Split, Croatia. Simple joy cannot express the feeling. Although i have met and worked with some remarkable people here, most have been illustrative of…whatever. I have spoken enough of them already.

The other day I was on a bus heading into the center of the country. The thought suddenly crossed my mind, ”what am I doing here in Bosnia?” It was as if I had realized I had awoken from a weird dream. I mean, really…Bosnia? Of course, I am volunteering, etc…but it reaffirmed the fact that I have been here too long, seen too much to be instructive, and so forth. I have grown to loathe this country in many ways. What I love about it is very superficial.

If I never see another bullet-ridden shell of a blown-up building, another nationalistic graffiti strewn concrete wall, or another banner-toting reactionary, it will be too long.

Today I work with my good friend Janet again, and tomorrow afternoon as well. Then it is a final three days of laundry, packing, a bus ticket purchase, and ‘do ve?enja Bosna’, maybe forever.

I am actually growing paranoid about some of the people here. There are too many holy-rollers, theocratic flag-wavers, and narrow-minded sycophants for my taste.

Johnnyboy