It seems sometimes that I set my goals too high, or expect too much of myself, or something along those lines. My therapist speaks of this as walking across a space on a 6′ x 4″ board: If the board is only 5 inches off the ground, there is no problem. Elevate the thing 5 stories between two buildings, however, and the tension, stress, etc…becomes all the greater for the height. That’s what I do. When I’m at those heights, I make the mistake of looking down while traversing the space. Bad idea. Then I have doubts, fears, trepidations, and all my bogey-men come back to haunt me, led by The Critic inside my head and his terrible committee. I become trapped, crippled, and unable to navigate my way out of the simplest of dilemmas.
Thankfully it never lasts long, because I know the truth: I can do ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is. What it takes is the grace and gratitude to reach out for help, talk to people, and get this stuff off my chest. This I have done, and I am well on my way back to sanity and academic productivity. Thank you, everyone, who has listened and shared with me.
Spring is here, and here are the crocuses to prove it. I took these pictures this morning, along with this watery scene typical of spring in Somewheresville.
Tonight we are supposed to get snow, although the Weather.com predicts rain. It’s sunny right now, but cool.
Johnnyboy