After all the self-centered loathing of the past 3 or 4 days I think I am beginning to put these things behind me. My own fears are just that–my own. Apparently my favorite noon meeting is going on just fine without me, and why shouldn’t they, fer cryin’ out loud! I still haven’t heard from either my sponsor or any of those really involved about my wierd mass emailing of an amends. I did hear from some folks, just not the ones…hmmm…let it go…let it go…
I spoke tonight at a meeting in Connecticut, and boy did I need to do that. I needed to blurt out a little honesty to people that have no idea about the context, but only hear the craziness and the confusion that can come to someone like me, still newly in sobriety. I guess I can fool myself into thinking that I have a handle on things when really I have nada.
I’ll spend the next few days reviewing my philosophy text for class on Friday.
I’m also finishing up a model, an Ansaldo Balilla A-1, an Italian fighter plane from the First World War. It’s quite beautiful and looks like a boat with wings. All varnished wood and linen. Very pretty, but cut up the skies pretty well for its time. I’ll post a pic when I get it finished.
My mother feeds Sweetie Pie too much, and I find little kitty gag wads of half digested Science Diet kibble around the place. Apparently the cat makes a pleading cry and mom feeds her. This is all very Pavlovian. I’ve left a note reminding her to feed her 1 cup of food all day.
Now my italic thingy is stuck! What is going on here? Ok, now it’s off. I don’t get it. It should be italicizing as I write, seeing as the little icon is highlighted, but no, I have to get the different one. Why does mine always have to be different?
Johnnyboy