Tired? Too tired to sleep…

Posted on by Johnnyboy

My mind is going a thousand miles an hour. This is some of the crap that’s floating around in it:

Thomas Aquinas
St. Augustine
mousetraps
AA meetings I don’t like*
Car repair bills
8th Step
9th Step
can’tsleepcan’tsleepcan’tsleep

*The meetings in a nearby town are getting me down. There seems to be a clique existing. I get a bad vibe from the place. I have given this meeting a lot of effort. It’s not my homegroup, but I get a feeling that there is a real resentment against my being there. It’s not everyone, just, like I said, a small clique of overly macho guys with some chips on their shoulders. It’s my fault that I am renting space to them in my head. I have a feeling that people are spreading rumors about my time in jail. Why can’t I just turn it over and let it go? Someone suggested a while back (6 months or more) that I should just not go to those meetings. So, you see, this is not a new development. Perhaps that’s what I’ll do. I’ll find other meetings. But is this right? It’s just 3 or 4 guys, not the whole group.

I am really messed up about this crap.

Johnnyboy

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Johnnyboy

Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.