Why am I here…If not to ask questions like these?

Posted on by Johnnyboy

I was upstairs reading Orham Pamuk’s novel ‘The Black Book’, and began to be distracted by the above thought. Why am I here, in this place, today? Do I travel in order to miss the place I call home or do I leave home merely to find myself at sea with these dilemmas? Am I searching for something that I believe is in one of life’s little dark corners and then come to find that, like Poe’s ‘The Purloined Letter’, the answer has been right before me all the time?

Tomorrow I help Janet clean out a storage space so we can fill it with donated goods, then off to help those who need help. These and other simple tasks I can understand, for they serve an immediate and useful purpose, but all this traveling about…What am I looking for? Have I lost sight of some objective that I may have had many years ago or am I so deep within the answer that I cannot see the forest for the trees?

This will keep me awake for the night, I fear.

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Johnnyboy

Johnnyboy is a queer recovering alcoholic. For the moment he is also the primary caregiver for his mother, who suffers from age-related cognitive impairment. She is happy as a lark and is surrounded by a crew of sober women which gives him the freedom he needs to get out of town. When he is not at home in Somewheresville, he is searching out the proper path to travel for happiness and joy. He is a photographer who believes in the digital age, but feels that film is still where its at. He has a darkroom and works in it. He is single and is in remarkably great physical condition for all the damage he has submitted his body to. His cardiologist is very happy. Johnnyboy is over the age of 35.