Last Saturday night an AA friend asked me what it was that I looked for in a woman, i.e. potential partner, lover, friend. This is a sticky question for me, because I certainly wouldn’t want to categorize someone or pigeonhole them in any way. I also am of the belief that we humans do not find love, rather it finds us. So, to twist her question around, it may be easier to discuss what it is that I find enjoyable and wish to share with another. That makes more sense to me.
So—I love museums–all kinds. I can spend hours and hours wandering around in the smallest of local historical society headquarters with the same verve I apply to the Metropolitan Museum of Art or the Zagreb Museum of Technology.
I love to travel. Trains, taxis, planes, boats, walking, etc…I was born on the road, and I think it has formed me at the genetic level. It’s not the coming home that appeals to me, but rather the view out the window as the plane lands, or the train arrives in the station that sets my mind. There is also a logistical aspect to the whole affair that I love: all the planning, orientation, maps, maps, maps…
Food is good. By that I mean that enjoy all kinds, from off-the-street vendors to white-linen-gloved-waiters. What I do jot enjoy, and try my hardest to avoid, is an establishment which tries to be something it is not. This is a recipe for failure. Honest food is real…Don’t screw around with the ingredients.
Solitude. I need my space. By that I mean that the potential partner and I must agree that we each need our own private areas, whether for mediation, office work, or whatever. This is not a defense mechanism designed to keep anyone out, but rather a cure for the doldrums borne of too-close-quarters. In other words, I would rather have separate offices, or even dwellings, than fall into the trap of over-familiarity.
Acceptance. Besides being the solution to all of my problems, I feel it is necessary to accept my lover/partner/friend/coochie-coo as who she is, warts and all. In my mind, a dangerous and checkered past is just that–the past, and has no real bearing on the current life. In fact, it may add many unique facets to the person with whom I share my toothbrush. To this end, I feel that the Recovery Pool might be my best bet for a mate, because they need to accept some things about me, too, and where else will I find such amazing people!
So that’s it. That’s me in a nutshell. And, like all narcissists, I crave myself as my best buddy.
‘Buffy’ is moving along. I am in the middle of season 5 and also watching season 5 of ’24’ as well.
Gotta go. People want my money.
Johnnyboy
Published by